Race Schedule

I’m a planner and thus, I like training plans. Training plans are much more interesting with races to work towards. I really do believe that the difference between me and an ultra runner or a cometitive CrossFit athlete is consistency and dedication. This plays out day to day as I set time aside to follow a training plan and give the right effort to each workout. I also believe that the difference between me and most people who aren’t in shape but want to be, is the same thing: consistency and dedication. I’ve been there, believe me. Having children and getting older certainly changes our bodies, schedules and priorities, but instead of using that as a reason to give up, I think it’s even better incentive to make goals and take some time just for you and your body. It won’t happen overnight, but waking up each day and doing the incremental work adds up to improvement. I’m three years and many training plans in and I still have so much more to try.

Lately, I’ve been really turned off by the term “empowerment.” There’s something condescending about it when it’s often used by these people to help those people with goals that are more often instigated by the “helpers”. I don’t need anyone to empower me to be better today, next year, or a decade from now. In truth, it’s one of the few things no one can do for me. We are our own responsibility. Our accountability to a self-actualized life can not be delegated.

I do have an incredible coach who has both pushed me and given me perspective, but I believe we’re a team, along with the other awesome people in my CrossFit classes. It’s a contract. I show up, try not to whine or be negative, I’m honest with how I’m feeling, I compete only with myself, and I give my best effort. I’ve found a balance between my marathon training plan (5x/week) and the core strength and cross training I get from CrossFit (4x/week). I’ve even reached the point where I can deviate a bit from my plan when I get too tired or sore. I’m empowering me. I am the only one who can be consistent and dedicated to the person I’m becoming. No one can give that desire to me. If I want to be better tomorrow, I have to train today. And training is just trying. When I don’t want to workout, I think about what I’m training for. It’s not really this list of races. It’s not to have a different body or reach a certain weight. It’s because I’m proving to myself that I can do what only felt like a dream before. Running especially has given me the opportunity to get to my guts – an intimacy with myself. No one can fake out a 20 mile run. When it’s just me out there for hours, there aren’t any gels or gadgets or coaches or tricks that can finish for me. I have to be smart about how I train so I’m prepared and then I have to find the raw will power to ask myself to be more than I was before. Stronger, faster, happier, wiser, more thoughtful… and when I’ve pushed my body to a new level, I am humbled. There is no room for snarky out there. Gossip, appearance, anxiety all become laughable. Same is true for an intense CrossFit WOD. I think about Aurelia and the example I want to be for her. I think about the person I used to be and the one I reach for. I think about how incredibly lucky I am to be able to be in motion. Everything slows down out there. Life stops passing me by. I become present and very aware of what matters most.

I’m rambling. This is not what this post was supposed to be. I’m not really sure what this blog is supposed to be anymore. But it’s good to have a record. It’s good to say what I can and remember that this is a process. Looking at the races below blows my mind. I couldn’t do some of them today, but with the right preparation and determination, I will. Isn’t that a marvelous thing?!

An internet friend recently said, “In all matters there is a shallow and a profound perspective, including life itself. Do you live for yourself alone, or for a greater purpose and value? It is easy to live thinking only of oneself, but to live for a great ideal requires steadfast commitment and courage.

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